In July we started showing our profile to new birth moms after visiting with the new adoption agency we are working with.
We had started emailing the main lady back and forth and she asked if we were interested in kids older than babies. We said, "Yes" and she said that they had a birth mom ("M") that had 22 month old AA twins (a boy and a girl) that she was trying to place. She was from NY and was afraid of traveling. We said since she wasn't willing to come here we were afraid to get burned again, so we absolutely won't travel out of state. To make a long story short...she ended up flying out here with the twins. She chose us, we were just about ready to travel down and meet them when the agency called us and told us that her attorney said that she had violated her court order (something to do with her meds). She ended up having to travel back to NY and appear in front of a judge and I think her kids are back with the state there. It was heart wrenching. We saw pics of them (they were so cute), knew their names, etc.
We then showed birth mom "B" who was expecting a baby girl in August. She had placed before with the agency and we felt like our chances were really good. Well, we had a one in three chance. She ended up choosing the family that had her other child.
Then there was another birth mom ("K") expecting another AA baby girl. We found out about her a little under a week before she was going to deliver in Utah. She took longer than she thought to choose, because there were 3 great families to pick from. I prayed so hard that she would choose us. She ended up going with another family. I bawled.
Now it is August and I am trying to focus on my preschool starting soon, and the kids' swimming lessons daily, and other things. But, it is so hard not to pray hard that we will get a healthy baby girl soon. We feel that when the time is right it will happen, but it's hard not to get discouraged after almost 3 1/2 years. (Well, we started the paperwork in November 2008). But, didn't start showing birth moms until June 2009, I think.
It's weird because when we are in the process of showing a birth mom our profile and we know the details of her and her baby, it is so hard not to focus on it. It's like time stands still and that's all I can think about and pray about and dream about. Wes says that I should just not focus on it and until she chooses us, don't get my hopes up. I guess men and women are just different. I can't just not focus on it. :)
Wes says that after showing 20 birth moms through this new agency and not being chosen, we are done and it will be a sign we will just have to move on with our lives. So, we'll see. We only have 17 more chances. Our odds are way better with this agency though. The last agency we dealt with showed like 20 profiles at a time. That's ridiculous. Our new agency shows about 3 each time. It will happen. Right? We'll see.
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